Mar 15, 2022

Quotable Will

“It may be difficult for people today to comprehend the place Rogers held in American culture at the time of his death,” wrote one historian. Indeed, Will’s innumerable witticisms, always pregnant with gentle and often profound truth, carry forward the legacy of a man who never stopped loving Oklahoma or living out her best values, no matter how far away from the old Cherokee country he went.

The following are a few of his many memorable quotes:

Try to live your life so that you wouldn't be afraid to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

Never squat with your spurs on.

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket. There are three kinds of men:

The ones who learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.

If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut. About Growing Order…

First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know why I look this way. I've travelled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved. Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top. Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about ageing is that it's such a nice change from being young. Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been. Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable and relaxed.

Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.

No man is great if he thinks he is.

I joked about every prominent man of my time but I never met one I didn’t like.

We lost thousands of lives and spent billions (in World War I), and you could hand a sheet of paper to one million different people and tell them to write down what the last war was for, and the only answers that will be alike will be, “Darn if I know.’ ”